UNCONTROLLED SUBSTANCE

New Car for Woman

Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car for women. Mixing the Renault ‘Clio’ and the Ford ‘Taurus’ they have designed the ” Clitaurus “. It comes in pink, and the average male car thief won’t be able to find it — let alone turn it on, even if someone tells him where it is and how to do it.

Rumor has it though, that it leaks transmission fluid once a month. Plus it can be a real bitch to start in the morning! Some have reported that on cold winter mornings, when you really need it, you can’t get it to turn over.

New models are initially fun to own, but very costly to maintain, and horribly expensive to get rid of. Used models may initially appear to have curb appeal and a low price, but eventually have an increased appetite for fuel, and the curb weight typically increases with age. Manufacturers are baffled as to how the size of the trunk increases, but say that the paint may just make it LOOK bigger.

This model is not expected to reach collector status. Most owners find it is best to lease one, and replace it each year.

The Ecstasy of Defeat