UNCONTROLLED SUBSTANCE
You Can Dance If You Want To
Amazing Korean Horse Humping Fitness Machine!
Ever get the urge to do wild pelvic thrusts in your living room but you’re worried you may dislocate your spine, or worse, not burn enough calories? Well those crafty Koreans have just the product for you… “The Ace Power Horse Riding Fitness Machine!”
Now you can perform all sorts of normally obscene pelvic thrusts and lose 6 or 7 calories too!
As demonstrated by the woman in the snazzy mouse fur jump suit, jello people who could not previously stand with their arms in front of them now have the stability of people with skeletal structure just by using this miracle machine!
I’m not sure what the couple towards the end of the commercial are talking about as he happily humps away but I’m betting it’s something frisky 🙂
Order Now!
Get Back Your ME Time with Nap Time!
Let’s face it, kids suck. Their constant blabbering about their needs is nothing but a headache and totally ruins any enjoyment of the important things you want to do like sit, watch TV or “adult stuff”. Luckily, there’s a new product on the market to put a cork in their whinny pie holes so you can get on with what really matters… You!
Nap Time is a revolutionary product with a super special formula developed by military scientists from NASA who do other super special stuff too.
UNCONTROLLED SUBSTANCE 